…rupture, repair

Dear Therapist and I have talked many times over the years about the concept of rupture & repair. Relationships are tricky with each of us having a history, a conscience, opinions, doubts, fears, and ambitions. It’s little wonder that during our days we have little ruptures with people. Little earthquakes. They could be disagreements, arguments or out and out fights. There is a motion to relationships because each one of us is filled with so many moving parts. There is movement in what we feel. And so like the tide moving back out, we repair. We encounter the person again and lend a smile or have a hard conversation or make a plan. We repair.

I find it very comforting to know that there is a rhythm to relating. I bring this up because many of you reacted to my post “Roar” in which I expressed my frustration towards a comment written to me. I used my voice to stand up for myself and you rallied around me.

That night I received an email different from your hurrahs. It was from said person. She was apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Absolutely, I said. Done.

And it was done.

Once again I was reminded that we can feel really, really strong emotion and have a crack in the earth; a split; a rupture. And in the next wave all is wiped clean and we repair. We go on and spin around into our other relationships where the tide is just as strong and we rupture, repair there as well. It’s the motion of these two that on one hand we can have a total disconnect and then come together. I think there is solice in that we are all involved in this push and pull.

I wanted all my friends & allies to know.



  1. KJ Eicher says:

    I like the part where you said, “It was done”. Amazing sometimes how a resolution can end up being so much more simple that we ever thought. We should all try to avoid conflicts, of course, but as you reminded, sometimes they are just part of the ebb and flow of life. When they occur…we should find the simplest of solutions like you and your other person did. Feels good I bet !! great job to you both.

  2. Laura Tyler says:

    Awe Christen

    I do enjoy your blogs and am glad to see that this person
    Did apologize. Maybe she only meant it sincerely and not in a negative way. “To ere is human, to forgive is divine

  3. Happy Day!! That’s Wonderful. Hikchik

  4. christina larsen says:

    love and forgiveness! Without both we have nothing!

  5. Christen,
    I follow your blog regularly and was truly astonished by your reaction to the negative comment. First of all, the comment was absolutely ridiculous and didn’t even deserve a response, but then to use your children to be the face of your reaction was selfish and immature, not to mention unprofessional. You put yourself out there when you choose to write a blog and you’ve got to be tough enough to take it all – good, bad, and ridiculous. Your blog used to be centered around creativity, but lately it seems to have gone down a dark road of personal strife with a huge dose of self pity. Hope you find your way out soon!

    • Dear Karen,
      As you have said this is MY blog. You have a choice not to read it and I suggest you unsubscribe. As I said to the other rude comments, there is only room for kindness here and frankly, that’s all I will tolerate.

      • I am new to this blog and I CANNOT get past this comment! I am not subscibed and now I can tell I would never subscribe! Your reply is a bold lie as I did not see “kindness” in the picture you posted of your own children being rude and mean! What kind of a person would use their own children like this? I stop here. Sad….. Very sad indeed!

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