Oh man. With the beginning of school over in our home also comes the beginning of some great opportunities for my 7 year old to understand how to navigate people and feelings. I guess I did not realize that mean girls made an appearance in second grade. I was very unprepared for them to rear their ugly heads so early in my daughter’s life. She is my oldest and most tender-hearted. Greta Belle. The love of my life.
I have been reading articles, books, talking to wise family, friends and teachers all week about what to say and do. The more we talk the more I realize that these are fundamental issues that creep into our daily lives almost every day. They are the biggies like self esteem, confidence, courage, and fear. It’s hard to not have these messages circle back to my own life, hardships and experiences.
Mean people suck when you are 7 and they suck when you are 37.
I was kind of proud of myself when I told Greta that we are always going to have people crawl into our lives that say negative things and hurt us. We are also going to have our families and friends that shine a bright light over our heads full or warmth and love. It is up to us as to which we will listen to.
Not bad, huh?
Of course, I totally do not heed my own advice. I always let those negative words and thoughts and people creep in. Sometimes they are disguised so nicely and they trick me! Sometimes I don’t trust myself. Sometimes I hit my head on the same wall hoping that it will eventually give…and it doesn’t.
I’ve decided I want to put quotes all over my house to remind myself and my daughters of what is THE TRUTH. Of course many of these come from our own beloved children’s books like these.
The Little Prince gets me everytime.
How can we stand strong and not let the voices and mean girls in? Chances are the mean girls have all disappeared and you are taking over their job, whispering lies to your own self, like “What are you doing?” “You can’t succeed.” “You are going to make a fool of yourself.” “You are no good at this.” “You will never make any money doing something you love.” “No one will ever buy your product.” “You will expend lots of energy for nothing.”
Ouch. Hurts just writing it, but these are the messages that we think to ourselves without realizing that we have become the bully. If you have a loud voice like this in your head like I do, you know that it’s no joke trying to ignore it and move past it.
I wrote Greta a little note today and put it in her backpack, “Be brave.” Maybe just start there today if you are having negative thoughts. We can’t always make them disappear, but we can stand up to them and be loud back. Maybe speak the word “No!” out loud. Maybe step outside to feel the air. Maybe shake our head back and forth to erase the thought. Maybe breath in deeper. How can we not let our thoughts take us captive today?
Even if you can’t fight all those big, bad, mean words today, lean into the idea of being brave by standing strong and quietly whispering, “No. Not today.”
PS – Love talking about your feelings like I do? Safenest is scheduled to launch end of September. Safenest – a safe, anonymous share & support community.
PERFECT!!!
I too have a vulnerable little girl that has had her fair share of up’s and downs with so called “friends” along the way. I always wish that I could take all the pain for her. I hate to see her upset by other people’s actions. Our babies can’t stand up for themselves like we can, they don’t know what we have learnt in our lives, they have all this to come. They see things so innocently and so the pain is so raw for them.
There is nothing worse than seeing your baby in pain, I just want to get out there, roll my sleeves up and confront them all. Unfortunately we cannot fight all their battles, we can just teach them integrity and respect for themselves and others. Good luck … I feel your pain.
Perfectly said. It is such a shame that there are so many people just waiting to tear someone down. I certainly hope things get better for her.
You know that people that bully and act mean like this usually have a self image problem of some sort. They try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. I was never bullied as a child, but if I saw anyone else being bullied I would call out the guilty party. Never could stomach a bully! Girls can be so catty – are they possibly jealous of your daughter?
This post was awesome!