I know many of you are fans of the blog Momastery. I love it too. The post yesterday really hit home for me. I grew up in a Christian household where anger, frustration & bold emotions were not tolerated or really understood. The problem is that people have strong emotions. God had strong feelings. Hello, Flood. I have strong feelings and ones that I need to express. So, since I had little practice doing this I don’t always know how to express these “negative” emotions when I start to feel them. Instead, I have often let myself be pushed and pulled and rolled over. Ouch! This can only work for so long before the dam bursts and we either kick and scream or find a way to express ourselves.
This is a bit of what Glennon from Momestary fame had to say about it:
I know that it feels like the world has made a silent request that you remain silent.
I sense it, too. It’s a chilly breeze through my mind that carries the message: shhhhhh.
Since we were little girls the world’s been whispering: shhhhh. Don’t disturb the universe. You cannot speak of it because if you did everyone might notice that you are a little angry and then they will be angry because the underneath rule is: you are not allowed to be angry…The world loves a happy girl.
It’s enough to make a girl wonder if Smile Quietly was in the contract she signed when she agreed to be human. And that question will lead her to remember that she never signed any such contract. That she never made any promises at all. To anyone. Certainly not to the whispering, hushing world.
Every girl must decide whether to obey the shhhhh of the whispering world or the SPEAK of her own beating, caged heart.
One day, she will decide to speak. And then she will speak and speak just to hear the stunning sound of herself SPEAKING. Like skipping a stone, she will speak just to hear herself interrupt her own silence. Just to break the smooth surface of the water. Just to watch the ripples. And soon the sound of her own beautiful, strong, shaking voice will drown out the shhhhh of the whispering world completely.
Still. Do it. Disturb the Universe. It’s what you’re here for, Little Girl.
These are chilling words of truth for me. They are a reminder that we were born with a voice – a voice very different and separate from all the other voices around us. Maybe we were not taught how to exercise this vocal ability so it comes out creeky & soft & shaky. But, as we grown and have more experiences we realize that in order to live the lives we want to live we cannot be so quiet.
This is true in your personal life and true in your creative business. It will all seep out no matter what the context. Working with a difficult, demanding client? Don’t have the time to produce what you’ve been asked? Need a break? Hate the project? Etc, etc. Do you speak up and express your feelings knowing that they are valid and important or do you shrink back and nodd you head? If you don’t have practice speaking up then the latter seems much easier. However, in the long run you will notice that you are burying yourself just like others work at burying you. It won’t feel easy or natural to at first say “No.” or “I’m leaving.” or “I don’t want to.” But, after the 100th time maybe it will get a bit more comfortable. And you will be less frustrated and angry and explosive. Speaking up is not a bad thing.
How could you practice speaking up today?
(PS – Love talking emotions? Join me on my upcoming blog, The Safe Nest. Coming soon.)