…chaos, control, chaos, control. you like?

(Reference: Six Degrees of Separation starring a young Will Smith and a Kandinsky.)

There is a lot of confusion in my house at the moment. Like so much so that I feel like I can’t even think quite clearly. Will this get better? I wonder.




The three of us (Ollie, Owen and myself), abandoned by that troop of children that left us this morning, climbing the steep steps of the school bus not to return until just before dinner time. This reminds me, I must cook dinner tonight.

I was going to accomplish so much when this strange change finally happened and now I feel a bit overwhelmed by the silence to be honest.

I think I finally get it. Chaos. Control. Chaos. Control. And no, I don’t like.






  1. Trina Williams says:

    Hey sister,
    RELAX. Count to ten. And BREATHE !! You have handled soooo many bigger and tougher situations in life. This is what you WANT to do. It will even out before you know it.

    Everyone is pulling for you!!

  2. Beth Tebaldi says:

    Yes, my dear, it DOES get better! My children are grown, moved away. It doesn’t go back to the same, nothing in life does if we are growing. But, cheer up, this isn’t the end of control. It’s a bump that you slowly walk over. Ah yes, I make it sound so easy. I don’t intend to give pat answers. I just want to say, you aren’t alone. Change is hard. Period. I am supposed to be in my golden years. Retired and loving it with my husband. Yet I was diagnosed with 2 incurable, eventually fatal diseases 6 years ago. My husband and I never dreamed “finding our new normal”, would take this long. And i still go into grieving periods. My point? . When it all seems too much, verbally remind yourself you are not alone, it’s OK to just stop and feel what you’re feeling. Don’t fight it, just feel it, live in the moment and the moment changes again and again, you will find peace by allowing yourself to just be here. HERE isn’t static, and you’ll journey onto the other side of this.

    One thing is for sure, You are not alone!

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