…”what happened?”

Luxury Plush Slippers. Sumptuously soft, luxuriously warm yet lightweight, our plush slippers offer enveloping comfort.

Like the rest of the planet, I wear my beloved Uggs on all my errands outside of the house. But, when I am inside my comfy nest I like to feel differently. I don’t want to feel like I’m walking to the bus stop or running into preschool or the grocery store or CVS or the mall. I don’t want a sole on my slippers because that feels like I’m going to work. I want something soft. Finding sole-less slippers are very difficult now-adays so I was super excited to see these “Luxury Plush Slippers” being sold at Restoration Hardware. They were thin, fluffy and best of all no rubber on the bottom!

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The holidays have been absolutely nuts for me as I’m sure they have been for you as well. I woke up one Sunday morning, snuck into the Christmas “wrapping room” and opened my little treat – the slippers. When I put them on I noticed they were really slick on the bottom. Really slick. To the touch they almost feel like satin. Hmmm. I just need to break them in a bit. How could something so soft and lux be bad? I started down the stairs, last night’s water glass in hand and the rest was a blur.

My feet slipped quickly out from under me, the back of my head slammed to the edge of the top wood step and I began the quick and painful roll down the rest of the 8  wood steps. I landed with a crash, feeling only a ripping pain in my skull. I put my hand to the place of pain to find that there was about a 4 foot indension. I then noticed the drips of black blood pouring through my fingers and down to the landing. Brent and all the kids came to my faint call and we proceeded to somehow get into the car, kids to the neighbors, cloth to my head, car through the snow to the emergency room for the second time this month.

They rushed me in and due to my panicking immediately gave me pain meds and a Xanex. What did this pain mean? How badly was I broken? Could they fix me? I lay curled into a fetal position and willing let the nurses and doctors care for me. I let go.

It took me a week to begin to realize the extent to which I had suffered. A fractured scapula, a broken rub, a concussion, contussion to my skull that now had staples to fuse it, the largest and blackest bruises I have ever seen on myself in the mirror. My body was broken. It took another full week to be able to drive and even that was not a good idea due to the dizziness and the perpetual brink of nausea that I was feeling.

Christmas came and went and I managed. I am still dizzy, can’t think totally straight with this constant dull ache in my head, looking down is difficult, sleeping near impossible and I am still not able to move my left pain without crying out or wincing. The bruises have disolved back into skin. I start my round of doctor’s next week including the neurologist and orthopedist next week.

I’m still not sure I have really landed from the fall. I’m not sure how it all happened or why it happened or when the pain will leave. It makes me sad. It makes me scared. It makes me think about what I want to do with my time. It makes me want to sit still on the couch with my kids. It makes me want to stay inside and try to read a book if the words ever stop bouncing. It makes me want to do only a few things a day instead of a million. It makes me want to never wear slippers again for darn sure.

You need to know how much I appreciate all your prayers & thoughts. Pain is real. Life is hard. We all deserve peace & comfort; kindness from strangers & family. In our own ways we do not want to stop until we can feel a bit of relief. Sometimes that is with painting or lying on a new pillow. Sometimes it’s with entertaining friends. Sometimes it’s with baking or creating something beautiful with our hands and giving it away. Or taking a walk with our kids, petting an orange cat. It won’t be perfect and it won’t last, but it will be warm moments strung together, helping us move forward.

Wishing you love & peace right now, this day.