…building a business: the haters

Haters. They are everywhere. Like bees buzzing around the flowers looking for honey; looking for a chance to sting. But, I have to say that I don’t see them much anymore. In the first few years of Blue Egg Brown Nest I would get nasty emails and comments that really, really bothered me. If you’ve been reading for a long time you will know that I don’t deal with meanies very well. In fact, I post about them.

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Just like in life, I think we have to teach people how to treat us. We do this by creating healthy boundaries, saying no when it does not work for us and saying “This is not okay” when people do something hurtful. I’m not saying that we can stop mean people from treading on us, but we do have a choice in letting them get to us. For me, I find that saying “No way” and then changing focus helps me. I don’t call them out to hurt them back or change their minds, I call them out to say to myself, this is where I draw a line. This is not okay.

When my girls come inside crying because the boys in the neighborhood will not play with them. I tell them to change focus. What can you girls do instead? What would help you? With some proding and affirmation, they set up a popcicle stand and don’t you know when those boys get really hot playing soccer by themselves, they all want to come over and buy a pop from the girls. It’s not about getting even, it’s about changing focus to do something that serves you.

Criticism is one thing, but meanness is something that I just won’t have here in my space. I think I’ve set this standard here. I also think it’s okay that people know that I’m not going to take it. I’m going to say “Nope. Not here you don’t.”

Biting your tongue or not letting it get to you is not easy. The hate and negativity can really trip you up. If ignoring it was easy we would all be doing it. It’s not easy. I’m not even sure it’s healthy. But, staying “No, thank you” is rejecting the hate and putting your own stake in the ground. Draw a line for yourself. If you are feeling like someone is pushing against you or being outright nasty, then respond with your adult voice. No. Then change focus.

“And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”

Sounds like being a hater a miserable way to live, doesn’t it?

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Comments

  1. Inspiring! Thank you.

  2. You go girl!!! Love your honesty…..

  3. VERY well said! Haters gonna hate! Best we can do is try to handle it with grace! Hang in there! You are awesome! 🙂

  4. Susan Woywood says:

    So well written and so very true!! I’ve seen You Tubers I watch also get dumped on with the same kind of hate! You are all wonderful, charming and talented people who get up in the morning and follow their dreams. People who live a good life and try hard, work hard and are kind to others. Can’t understand the hate either, but it’s a very common phenomenon from what I’ve seen. You are one wise lady to know when to draw a line in the sand and keep on keepin on! Well, I for one (like so many others) love your blogs and posts. In the end, these haters only end up harming themselves. God Bless!

  5. Sharon Bradshaw says:

    There are some incidences where a person does need to be put in their place. Not rudely,or confrontational but bluntly, so they get the point and know where you stand. Keep doing what you are doing and don’t let the mean spirited seep into your kind spirit.

  6. Thank you for your advice. I am a new bloger and so far so good. I have being meeting very sweet people thru my blog. But I know that it is a matter of time until I run into one of those haters. I agree with you, I will not allow that in my space!!
    Love your blog BTW!! 🙂

  7. Thank You xxooxoxoo

  8. I just opened my business about four months ago….. the haters really do hate! Your furniture looks like crap …… Do you even sell that sh…… I mean seriously? I am not going to give in to that nonsense. I opened my business to inspire others to create beautiful things for their homes, not to generate hate mail. Thank you for this article it has helped me feel OKAY that I will occasionally get haters hating on my products, I am not the only one.

  9. I just opened my business about four months ago….. the haters really do hate! Your furniture looks like crap …… Do you even sell that sh…… I mean seriously? I am not going to give in to that nonsense. I opened my business to inspire others to create beautiful things for their homes, not to generate hate mail. Thank you for this article it has helped me feel OKAY and that I am not the only one.

  10. You stand strong! I believe that people who are hateful and disrespectful should be called out. They must be really miserable individuals to pick a part and hurt others. All we can do is pray for them. I try to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated. Thank you for being so inspirational!

  11. Michelle says:

    Hi Christen,
    Dont let them get to you. You are a wonderful inspiring girl with a good heart. I am from South Australia and follow your posts daily and have been doing so since I discovered you a year or more ago and seeing your beautiful work has encouraged me to get on with a few projects I had in mind but never got around to doing.
    Keep Happy and Strong.

  12. Maura Bouchard says:

    You are amazing! Ignore the the negative folks. So sorry for the lives they must live. Energy not well spent! I love your posts! Thank you for sharing. Maura

  13. Kim Bartlett says:

    very wise words.

  14. Shake it off.. Shake it off

  15. Stonebridge Garden says:

    Dealing with this lately! I never know how to respond in the moment and often trip on that boundary line, wondering what I did to deserve the nasty attitude. Maybe your “no” on the inside gets somehow impressed and subtly expressed on the outside? “Knowing” is the key – knowing yourself, what you believe about yourself, etc. Thanks!

  16. There will always be those who want to see you fail. I just started following you, I think your amazing. Keep up the good work.

  17. Kathy Ray says:

    Your kids are lucky to have a wise mom. I LOVE your website by the way.

  18. Debbie Kelly says:

    Here, Here! (or is it Hear, Hear?). I hear ya Christen!

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