Haters. They are everywhere. Like bees buzzing around the flowers looking for honey; looking for a chance to sting. But, I have to say that I don’t see them much anymore. In the first few years of Blue Egg Brown Nest I would get nasty emails and comments that really, really bothered me. If you’ve been reading for a long time you will know that I don’t deal with meanies very well. In fact, I post about them.
Just like in life, I think we have to teach people how to treat us. We do this by creating healthy boundaries, saying no when it does not work for us and saying “This is not okay” when people do something hurtful. I’m not saying that we can stop mean people from treading on us, but we do have a choice in letting them get to us. For me, I find that saying “No way” and then changing focus helps me. I don’t call them out to hurt them back or change their minds, I call them out to say to myself, this is where I draw a line. This is not okay.
When my girls come inside crying because the boys in the neighborhood will not play with them. I tell them to change focus. What can you girls do instead? What would help you? With some proding and affirmation, they set up a popcicle stand and don’t you know when those boys get really hot playing soccer by themselves, they all want to come over and buy a pop from the girls. It’s not about getting even, it’s about changing focus to do something that serves you.
Criticism is one thing, but meanness is something that I just won’t have here in my space. I think I’ve set this standard here. I also think it’s okay that people know that I’m not going to take it. I’m going to say “Nope. Not here you don’t.”
Biting your tongue or not letting it get to you is not easy. The hate and negativity can really trip you up. If ignoring it was easy we would all be doing it. It’s not easy. I’m not even sure it’s healthy. But, staying “No, thank you” is rejecting the hate and putting your own stake in the ground. Draw a line for yourself. If you are feeling like someone is pushing against you or being outright nasty, then respond with your adult voice. No. Then change focus.
“And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”
Sounds like being a hater a miserable way to live, doesn’t it?